Posted in Frustrations, LIFE

The Mirror

Read as yet again, another testimony begins
This one, absent strength to accept the forgiven,
Forgetful, of all that’s been given;
Focused only, on fruit branded forbidden.
Mere traits, perceived inside, as hidden 5
Information best understood when the movie ends;
What’s crystal clear when watched again.
A basic analogy now considered as best friend,
The one who gets us past thoughts of revenge
As it understands, such a result provides little gain 10.
Salvation in the embodiment of a single grain;
Seeds of deceit, born from within the brain
Alive due to an inability to move past pain
An empty canvas utilized to re-create remorse
Pieces of us, that’s no more 15
Parts of the soul left to rot on the floor
Disregarded and forgotten like a whore
Repercussions from a never ending war
Torment embedded within the core
Resentment for growing up, alone and poor 20
Fear from what’s left you unsure
Stricken with a disease which has no known cure
Hope and dreams abandoned in a sewer
Memories which in fact, no longer live here
Coming to grips with the true source of fear 25
As within this very message, truth is crystal clear
Stuck, unable to change gears
Aware the resolution is close, but never near,
A voice you’ll always be able to hear;
The man behind the face in the mirror. 30

Posted in Frustrations, LIFE

Born from Spite and Hate

Witness as I play my part in this act of bliss,
Well-crafted ideals; reflections of what I’ve always struggled to miss;
Depreciating the value of a love story, as that’s the aim here.
Providing a false sense of strength, from loneliness and fears,
Comfort found within the accompaniment of a cold beer, 5
And other illegal substances used to make things appear clearer.
Assisting, as we again travel through the years;
Relying on solely, advice that’s already past through these ears,
Acts that’ve left me unrecognizable to a mirror.
Staring deep into these eyes to grasp the real terror here, 10
Finding inside, lies the source of my greatest power;
Addicted to disappointment and frustration, like it’s a white powder
Accustomed to flourishing with a soul on fire
Using these drugs to take myself even lower, when higher
Living off the invincibility found, walking a high wire 15
The opposite of what you feel from the church choir
Establishing belief from the lie; you’re actually one to admire
A sense of accomplishment like it’s appropriate to consider retirement
Persistently, physically and mentally tired,
Operating without a single want or desire; 20
Mere accessories blessed upon us by the designer
Explaining why happiness and joy go against my truest nature
Unfazed by what most would regard as torture
An insight; joyous acts are ‘virus’s’, that leave one weaker.
Parasites unfortunately given life by the maker, 25
Why i now fumigate those adolescent dreams with a sharpie marker
Absentee visions of a wife, a life partner; an empty hearted wish;
That conceals why I choose too no longer prey for this,
Shallow dreams that won’t fulfil the feel of heartfelt kiss,
That won’t paraphrase the act of taking a risk for love 30
Thoughts that speak nothing of (these) images only foreseen as myth.
Unconcerned with the love found within the one you’re with
The one who makes a man secure to make her their Mrs.
She who appears clear, even in the depths of the mist
What makes all straight, when things are left in a twist, 35
Obstacles that can’t be absolved with an overpriced gift
That which would be irresponsible to ever neglect or forget.
Why it’s today apparent; the real blessing, is the concept of a process
Moving past a false reality, that’s perceived as tragic
Like pain felt, is inevitable; something more than just magic. 40
Slowly breaking free from an unnatural spell of madness;
What I was always drawn to like a magnet
So addicted; it actually had me by the neck
Constantly focused on when it’s going to happen to next
An uncommon misconception, life is a little too perfect 45
As its understood everything good, required a signed check
The payment for each new move in this game of chess
Constant reminders; things were far better, far from the best
Perpetuating the lie; it’s appropriate to question the merit of the blessed
Painful memories, that hurt to just confess 50
The will to admit; it’s appropriate to question, any and every merit of trust
An undeniable sign of trouble,
When we’re meant to find comfort within our bible
Uncovering knowledge branded as incredible
Words on paper, with probably as much incite as the federal government 55
A train of thought for which I must now show repentance,
Or serve out the equivalent of a life sentence.
The spiteful sentiment embedded deep in these sentences
A poetic exhibition, with a pure tone of hateful indifference.
Filling out an application with no one to list as a reference 60
As its accepted; no one stands in my defense
Those who’ve long grown unamused by the nonsense
Family and friends uninterested in even hosting an invention via conference call
Those too fatigued to give there all as i again fall
Burdens which explains, it’s not them here, who’s at fault 65
Petty ideals, best concealed away in this mental vault
Ideas preserved next too what remains of such shallow principles
The bases of what defines me today, as an individual;
Another no name poet who finds pride in the lyrical
A forgotten prophet who draws strength from the metaphysical 70
Piecing together answers from the residual
Using past heartache to explain the geniuses of desires for a soul mate
The one and only with an ability to forgive even my greatest mistakes
Words spoken for this new theoretical love story, taking its shape
The rose which now grows from aspirations of spite and hate 75

Posted in Frustrations, LIFE

DDT – Dumbed Down Thoughts

Be forewarned; for from this trip, there is no return
Why as I write, each and every past good deeds is being burned
The lesson plan the “Hell Bound” especially struggle to learn,
Why it’s so comical others make an attempt to exhibit concern,
As I’m steadily awaiting the reaper to proclaim, it’s my turn. 5
Returning to hell proud to be blessed enough to enter,
Here due to a fact I was always meant for better,
Heartfelt words hidden in a sweethearts, love letter.
Choosing instead, to live by the mandate of a bastard,
In search of only how to make life, harder, 10
Sitting here, as even now, I drown in water.
Why the love and admiration of other incites genuine laughter.
Those unaware of these sadistic thoughts calling the Devil master.
Asking, what they’d like to order as if I’m the waiter?
Wondering at times, would things be so different if I was any braver? 15
An idea steadily taking us through these onion like layers,
Uncovering where it’s best to hide internal prayers,
Providing those who remain close, reasons to stop and stare,
Expressing truth, even the pastor finds rare.
Facts of life as vital as breathing air, 20
Why in spit all disappointment, I still secretly strive to find the strength to care,
Even when it ends up, just me and faith standing here.
Holding hands as we alone, face the greatest of these fears,
Walking this earth to only give and share,
Words those in my heart were always meant to one day hear. 25
Visions others find blurry, that appear here clear.
Ideas which sound as sweet, as a lovers moan to your ear.
What’s impossible for another to understand, what it took to get here.
A time and space where no one could fare the same,
Why it was destined, I drive alone on this lane, 30
Where honestly, there isn’t too much to actually gain.
A one way ticket, which flies a passenger to the isle of the insane,
Living where it’s the man in the mirror to blame,
Spoiled from a perception, all of this is a game,
Where each and every act is an un-removable stain. 35
Obstacles that require more than a yes, we can.
A style of evil recognizable by the brand,
Thoughts most will struggle to fully understand,
Maybe why its best to start dumbing these lines down.
Amusing a crowd like a clown with their audience. 40

Posted in Frustrations, LIFE


Arise so you can ingest this poetic medicine
Getting up and making up our shared bed of sin
Finding we’re desperately in need of instruction
Yet still ignoring the subsequent lesson
Words from the lords adopted son 5
The other one, admired and followed by none
Probably the truest thing I’ve ever wrote
Supplying not only the reader, but the writer hope
Words to hold on to when it’s the soul that on fire
Standing before the world, naked and bare 10
As without another, there is no reason to care
Lacking a need to breath in air;
Not if my baby isn’t there,
Not if she isn’t near.
Expressing how we’ve become each other’s world 15
Transcribing why she’ll always be my favorite girl
An angel with a heart as precious as any pearl
Who I look to when it seems things, won’t get better
Alleviating the frustration of failing for this same pattern
Struggling to grasp the concept of this mental phantom 20
Breaking down internally when the journey is far from done
Stressed as if I’m a criminal on the run
Aware I’m a step away from leaving dreams in ruin
Faced with a battle of depression again
A test that I can’t afford to fail 25
Worried not of ending up in an eternal hell
Conscious more of the fact, I may never escape this jail cell
Losing the ability to tell when another’s affection is real
Heavy hearted sentiments that require a certain level of skill
Addicted to pain killing medication, found in this pill 30

Posted in Frustrations, LIFE


This is wrong.  We shouldn’t; we both know there’s absolutely no way this can end well.  Well aware circumstance is the reason for this trance.  Debating thoughts you already understand; guilt from desires to be another’s man.  What happens when man is dumb enough to come up with his own plan; unsure how we ended up here alone but together again… 

Coming closer to astutely study the face of the unattainable
A private secret of two, negotiated underneath the table,
Something built between just us, deeper than any label;
When even a single act is worth a lifetime of trouble.
The tradeoff for a mere opportunity at the incredible,
Nights of passion which inspire the unforgettable,
Such strong natural chemistry, it nullifies regret;
Imprisoned by steel images of those bare hips,
Frozen in time over the feel of both sets of lips.
What in spite of already tasting, you still miss,
Staring within my accomplice to discern our mission plan.
A thin line between a good and bad decision.
Prepared to deal with either side of the coin, in a life lesson,
Why in this here and now; she is the reason,
At dawn I’ll stand trial for treason; 15
For my part in a pursuit of shared sensual freedom.
A consummation, neither can testify to what’s been done;
As we’re only able to relive this, when we’re together again,
Simple facts which profess, this was evermore destined;
Moments which conjure, our urges never end. 20
A pair of warriors, who utilize passion as our weapon,
The real answer to inquiries, how could this happen?
How it’s possible, both of us could be so happy;
Opportunity, ineptly at the expense of others sadly,
Why there’ll be no protest, if it’s imperative they leave; 25
Levels of betrayal, rather hard to initially to believe,
The type that makes one ask, how could anyone be so naive?
Incite on how lust is parallel to greed,
As regardless; still, this is all we dream of, when we sleep,
When each new act takes an intimate turn past deep; 30
Overcome with anxiety till the next time we secretly meet.
Voices which ponder internally what all of this could mean?
When are greatest mistakes are conveniently foreseen,
A script played out by actors who aren’t acting on this TV screen,
An addiction that doesn’t only appear to be a need like caffeine. 35
Sentiment that’ve destroyed and still transformed us into fiends,
Caused an uproar that’s not good for the current regime.
The reason being a scumbag, has never required a specific gene,
On the stair way to heaven, yet strangely still deceived,
By wants and desires, only hormones perceive. 40
When a moan takes on an impression the mind is unable to conceive,
Stuck in a maze based on all we’ve shared and seen.
Prisoners to sensuality, who fear more the day they’re freed;
As doing wrong for us is more than just a choice, it’s a need.
A feeling only satisfied as I now lay here watching you breath; 45
Hot nights, cooled by the comfort of a lovers breeze,
Physical education that leaves two appeased,
Begging for more destruction with such ill-advised ease;
How today, the hearts mind came to be so under siege,
A level of such intoxicating seduction, it warrants its own prestige. 50

Posted in Frustrations, LIFE


Suddenly it feels appropriate to deal with just myself
Burdens long forgotten, collecting dust on a back shelf
Traits of this character, known by no one else
Why daily it feels like there are concerns for my own mental health
Fighting to forever stay out this internal hell 5
In search of how to finally, forgive and fully heal
A way to look past the fake and appreciate the real
Never again losing sight of how true happiness is meant to feel
Distinguishing the difference between talent and skill
When self-infliction is your primary source for a new thrill 10
Peace of mind unlikely, knowing all that’s wrong within has yet to be killed
Working to restore this spirit that’s grown cold as steel
Remembering lessons loved ones took their time to instill
The type of things, only time and patience can reveal
Uncovering the real source of all these acts of evil 15
Going back in time to now reinvent the wheel
Getting back that which time itself, is known to steal
What happens when placing too much faith in faith leaves you derailed
Paranoid each and every prayer will now result in failure
Voices questioning how it is I can trust her 20
When I’m so fearful of this idea things will get better
Struggling with this notion, what I want actually matter
Dreams of laying here inside my Angel on her side of the mattress
Medication known to help alleviate all forms of stress
A piece of heaven found in between the crease of her breast 25
Where responsibilities revolve around intimacy and getting rest
Instances far removed from these everyday games of chess
Finding an escape route via this delicate flesh
No longer bracing for what tragic event meant to happen next
Opening the door to more opportunities to carefully reflect 30
Providing the motivation needed to poetically confess
Lines paraphrasing this continual battle for my own self-respect
Rhyming about an absence of needs deemed by most as basic
An aliment which has steadily left me feeling sick
Left me striving without a single prayer or wish 35
Carefully reviewing all that’s missed so it can be properly explained
What insights these fears of spending the rest of this life in pain
The moments we realize that no matter what; we’ll never be the same
Ups and downs which depict how the journey is no game
Why we’re fortunate if we ever dance another dance again 40
Moving past the loss of a lover and friend
Closing the book on a chapter designated to end early
Walking up to learn; happiness has its cost, while torment is totally free
Heavy hearted sediments impossible for some to believe
Explaining why to expect anything else is to be regarded an act of greed 45
More desires that have nothing to do with what we actually need
Lessons best understood by the 50 yr. prisoner just released
Walking free; forced to live without loved ones long deceased
Fees hidden at the bottom of our life long receipt
Payment for the mistakes which we can’t afford to repeat 50
Memories filled with the mental scares we tend to keep
Bruised egos from nights ending with a kiss on a cheek,
To may prince charming with a propensity to cheat
People whose love for you makes you feel easy and cheep
Let down by someone who appeared to be so sweet 55
Who you thought you could lean on when you’re weak
The face which picks you back up after a rough week
Responsible for re-installing a sense of belief
Bonds we hold on too till the end of their lease
What happens when we’re more focused on them being pleased 60
People who lack a similar interest whenever we beg and plead
Usually the same person who you thought would never deceive
Looking back now to find the moment poison was placed in this seed
Searching for the understanding making it acceptable to be naive
Unearthing the strength of Adam to say he’s still in love with Eve 65
The final piece of the message laid out here for you to read
Layered with an understanding only I’ll be able to receive
Lyrical images only you will be able to perceive
Unable to truly comprehend what these words could possibly achieve
Another Rare Account of Words indeed. 70

Posted in Frustrations, LIFE

Simple Math

I write this to leave all that’s unsaid in ink
Chapters of life missed when we stopped to blink
Missing pieces of the story lost to the bottom of a sink hole
What keeps us warm when the weather forecast leaves us cold
Satisfied like a man free from the weight of a heavy load 5
Intelligence found from knowing you’ve cracked the code
Uncovering what it feels like to master a role
Given the map to find the way to an open road
Secrets of life hidden within stories of the old
Answers speaking for what it mean to grow 10
When it matters not, if you don’t know
As long as you’re forever in touch with the soul,
That which everyday life, continues to mold
Providing us with the script to this TV show
The only thing assisting to fix this man made hole 15
What happens when we accomplish little from our list of goals
Paying a toll for any and every feeling of happiness
Appearing all together in spit internal signs of distress
Tales from the crypt, filled with lines of regret
Wondering how long we must wait before one forgets 20
Lessons outlining why peace of mind is priceless
Outlining how stress is our mistress
Inspiring feelings that we’re meant not to trust
Mesmerizing the mind with similarities between love and lust
Teaching confusion about the differences between fate and luck 25
Knowledge needed to assist when the journey finds us stuck
Forgetting all that’s ever been instructed
A student sitting in class, totally distracted
Focused on only that which persistently attracts
Twenty years later, still having issues with simple math 30