Posted in Emotions, LIFE

My Rival

Finally, after so ever long I’ve tracked you down. You who I deem good friend after years spent chasing your ghost. Forever aware how easy it was fight an opponent unprepared to defend himself; willing but unable to see who’s to blame, who’s at fault… 

See, this is what happens when we aspire too much in life
Explaining, why eventually, disappointment doesn’t even disappoint too much
Long overcome of a broken heart, that forces most to walk with a crutch
Inspiration for this lesson on the dangers of acting on a crush
Outlining what happens when all those hopes and dreams are left crushed 5
Pieces of truth which haunt, as you sit alone eating lunch
Struggling for breath, as if you’ve been struck with a sucker punch
Wondering who ever said, relationshits where all smiles and fun
Pushed to limits, which proclaim you’re finally done
Tired of playing the fool, meant to only look dumb 10
Filled with the animosity of a thief, holding you up with his gun
Left alone; faced with a road block, with nowhere to run
Embracing late night nightmares, which tend to haunt
Learning to operate without that which most claim as a want
Finding myself surrounded by fears, back against the wall 15
Utilizing torment, propelling us to give our all
Striving and surviving without a need, for a single motherfucker to call
Pushing what’s left of this pride, to stand persistently tall
Remembering, we were all created to be invisible
An unspoken piece of knowledge buried deep in bible 20
The verses missing need to explain this vicious cycle
A heart with a scar; worn on this sleeve as if it’s a style
What I’d judge first, when these morals are put on trial
Unconcerned as apparently, I haven’t been clear headed for awhile
Amongst society, but spiritually, living amongst animals in the wild 25
Becoming a mad man who’s alone, to fit a police profile
Broken in pieces over never yet, walking down the isle
A simple mirage that’d never fulfill the motive to smile
Looking deep inside to find the only true form of revival
Finding in this arena; it’s just I, who’s been my greatest rival. 30

Posted in Emotions, LIFE


Never before has it felt this easy to escape within what I write,
The unique feel of doing something, that’s right.
Working past these cute thoughts of an Angel for dark knights
Growing weary from a search for ones truest might
Ignoring claims I’m suddenly wise when I’m just older, 5
With an attitude that’s left me sitting all alone, in the cold,
Painful emotions concealed by this tone over the phone?
More than prepared if forced, forever to walk alone
Life lessons I’ve left here on these poetic chalk boards
Powerful words I’m likely to only share when I’m bored 10
Profound ideals foreseen through the comfort of a whore
Dealing daily with the repercussions of a lifelong internal war,
Scars which reflect nothing of the external.
Words laced with concerns that only regard, the eternal
Something that can’t fully be addressed till the day of a funeral 15
Till the moment this body is laid down for burial,
When it’d be appropriate to appreciate the concern of all,
The few who fulfill proud claims to always be there, should I fall.
Sentiments written in respects to the fact, life’s hard,
As wants and desires live on separate islands; miles apart. 20
Why I honestly check for a pulse, to see if there’s still a heart here,
More scared of accepting happiness and joy, than any fear.
Words brought to life, in way that makes these lines feel special and rare
Thoughts giving off an impression, I remember how to even care,
Searching through memories, only asking for what’s fair. 25
Eyes to the sky, wondering why the fallen can’t still be here,
Prepared to sink in, unwilling to shoot off the survival flare;
An act too difficult to perform when fully ware,
Of these principal thoughts, man should never share
Why here and now; I stand before the world completely bare 30

Posted in Emotions, LIFE

Weight of a Vision

Even I’ve grown confused from these profound words
As each line perfects the act of concealing where it hurts most
The realization these ideas are really ghost
Lyrical revelations which revolve around how each days goes by
Reminded with each phrase, of past highs and lows 5
Tales from the time traveler, addicted to life on the road
In search of the utopia found, within resolution of the old
Using every moment to pay back what’s owed
Remorse, the general public will never know of
Images on a TV screen that can’t be avoided with a remote 10
Pieces of who I am, still regretted most
Scars which possess an ability to never show;
Which reflect how this cold exterior has grown upon me
The reasons, how and why all you see before you, came to be
Shame eerily similar to the beast from beauty and the beast 15
For the pain here is derived from the mere fact I still breathe
Self-loathing and hate that’s yet to leave
Ill-advised religious facts, I’ve been brought up to believe
Prisoner to the notion, these feelings are what I now need
That to prey for a positive disposition, is greedy 20
Partaking in exams daily, to get the taker ready
Crafted to illustrate how a poet is to rewrite history
Sharing with one and all, verses from his story
Granted time on this stage, to confess before all and say I’m sorry
Insight to assist in our quest, to escape this forest 25
Aid to neglect that which you’ve grown to detest
Ways to establish a persistent perception, of making a difference
Magical delusions, the world can be changed with a sentence
Mirages which make it seem, we can ignore the past tense
Foresight that makes total sense
What I always knew, with or without a reference 30
Facts of yesterday recognize in less than an instance
Faces, to this day, you recognize at any distance
Knowledge understood and appreciated, by even the dense
Misguided followers; happy to come to their leaders defense
Supportive of all that’s said and done like family and friends 35
Reciting each line, even if they can’t grasp what they mean
As if they were around for all I’ve already seen;
Quick to use one man’s life to construct movie scenes
Using these testimony, as reason to believe in our dream.
To fall asleep in spit nights that abruptly end with scream 40
Nightmares found within the twilight of a high beams
Thoughts which remind, what should have been
Mental images, branded today as forbidden
Lost within the depths of a personal Armageddon
Feelings to this day, that go unmentioned 45
Invisible to all; even if you paid a million for my attention
Phrases preserved to serve as my ultimate confession
Ideals pertaining to the provisions of natural leader.
The feel you get when nothing matters but your divine mission
Born to shoulder the divine weight of a vision

Posted in Emotions, LIFE

Hope and Dreams

Read of the inspiration from this, an out-a-body experience
A writer leaving both pain and sorrow in each line and sentence
Why neighbors constantly snoop through their fence
Spoken in a foreign language like either Spanish or French
Dossed in so much reality, even you must be able to smell this stench 5
Tuning out these voices striving to only see me flinch
The definition of a scratch you just can’t itch
Wasting away a holy prayer or Godly wish
An environment that requires first some form of adaption like water to a fish
A broken clock which has found its place on this very wrist 10
Item 28,000 and 1 on this lifelong never ending list
When it hurts coming to grips with how so much has been a complete waste
Eating food with never any appreciation for either the smell or taste
Just a wondering prick without any distinct features of the face
Lost without an antidote for mere moments of internal peace 15
As if breathing air seems to be the catalyst of this disease
With happiness playing the part of your typical tease
Still running from endless ideals filled with evil deeds
What must’ve been instilled from an absent father seed
Walking with a chip that no other can see 20
Why these desires for joy seem more like acts of greed
Understanding how for so long I’ve been only deceived
Presuming anyone like me has something out here to achieve
Stupid enough to fall for this lie telling us, believe
Believed in spit burdens that’ll never leave 25
Problems attached to the roots of this tree
Poison placed in every item I eat
Facing facts that this soul will never be truly free
Shackles attached to both hands and feet
Stuck with a psyche that’s both frail and weak 30
A self-confidence that’s tongue in cheek
An outlook of the future which is bleak
Placed on a vessel that’s sprung a leak
What it must feel like to be the fallen but floating leaf
Walking without any sincere faith in belief 35
With a smile waiting to be stolen away by another thief
Contempt from past memories, however brief they maybe
Full of reflection from a lifetime of maybes
Wondering how we’re to explain this to any future babies
Explaining this spell which completely had me defeated strangely 40
For life really is something ain’t she
Measured through it all, by internal acts of bravery
Breaking away from the chains of mental slavery
Words hidden in the ink that no other can read
A very rare, unique and special breed
Using hopes and dreams, not oxygen, too now breathe 45

Posted in Emotions, LIFE


I’ve chosen to utilize these words to illustrate what’s inside,
Poetic confessional of how I’ve tried.
Heartfelt words that’ll probably viewed as another elaborate lie,
A tall tale told from the last drop of wine,
An illusion all here, is indeed perfect and fine. 5
Even with pain filled images running through this mind,
Desires to distinguish heaven and hell sent signs
Third eye sights that have me going blind
Too prideful to simply ask out for help
Ignorant to the status of my own failing mental health 10
Distracted from a perception, of an abundance of wealth
Outlining my own continual and gradual problems with self
Ever forgetful of realizations stored on a back shelf
Those whose validity has been proven above anything else
Uncovering enlightenment, I tend to hide rather well 15
Grasping to understand the remorse felt every time I ever failed.
Addicted to the discomfort of a cell,
Lies claiming my resting place lies in hell,
Real facts of life, I was always instructed never tell.
How I’m genetically drawn, to follow this deceitful tale. 20
Lost vessels of sea, set too never return from sail
Walking around with a soul available for sell
Free, yet still bound by an internal form of jail
Punishing self to the point where one kills
Self-inflicted pain; which requires a certain level of skill 25
Why the notion of self-love always been battle
Slowly learning, maybe I do actually matter
Created to accomplish more than just being a martyr
Misguided ideals the fool claims, makes him wiser
Facts brought to light from where the soul grows darker 30
Refined from each occurrence misfortune occurs,
When people proceed to carefully work our nerves,
The frustration embedded in these classic verses,
Using rhythmic expression to exploit this mental curse.
Writing as a way to make sure, things don’t get worse, 35
Facts to be remembered when I lay lifeless in a hearse,
The only medication found which alleviates what hurts.
Worries, I’m still not the best me this cold world deserves
Better suited to fulfill the role of army reserves
Paraphrases so rich in meaning, they’ve formed my proverbs. 40

Posted in Emotions, LIFE

A Moment of Truth

Some moments are everlasting; some more than others. Time traveling through past consciousness; sentiments which never age with time. Well aware these bastard children born are indeed my own; a parent unable to disown his own. Going asleep to escape; wondering out loud… 

Is it normal to start days, aware of that which is wrong
The kind of epiphanies found at the back of a long line
Moment when the reality sinks in
Times when these emotions are best subdued with a glass of gin
When every step is a step closer to your next sin 5

Dealing with remorse found from a moment of truth written in ink
A mighty ship like the titanic that’s about to sink
As only God can know how all this came to be
Burdens no one else is capable of being able to see
An attitude problem that cares little if you don’t understand;
Understand or grasp this moment, when a boy becomes his own man 11

Pieces of this we are; put away for safe keeping in the closet
An attempt to preserve how this feels before I’ve lost it
Weather from the drugs or evil thoughts finally winning this battle
A fear which brings tears to eyes like a new born losing their rattle
The fear that you’ll forever be lost in the dark
Always walking scared; scared to hear Satins dog bark.
Demons who specialize in taking peace from the night;
Medication which takes away the feel; the feel of not having to put up a fight,
An opportune opportunity to capture lost souls,
As every last one of them is as precious as white gold;
Even as their actions prove, some are just fool’s gold. 22

Wondering here, was this what it was like for Jesus?
Falling behind the lead when you’re meant to lead us,
The feel you get when the world is waiting for you to grow up,
Visualizing images that leave the brain stuck,
Knowing; it’s not normal to have these thoughts.
Feeling instead, it’s safest to lock them away with a hundred different locks
Doing what’s prescribed, a fairytale lifestyle that’s nice and safe
Making sure to only walk in the light, just to avoid getting raped 30

Focused on being the person, ever thankful for being so blessed
The person that always stands out amongst the rest
Always giving thanks for slightest instance of happiness
Never again walking with a hole in your heart called emptiness
For these golden wings, never again, will come so close to the fire
As the world will never look into these eyes and see a liar 36

Never again filled with disdain for all in the world
Showing respect from others, with or without a referral
Striving to live by the fantasy just described
Reaching out to whoever teaches this, preaches these morals to the tribe;
Because reality then or now, we’re all just the same
Prisoners in a constant, ever changing game.
A game where some are placed in better positions than others
Participation which in fact make us all sisters and brothers 44

Tragic ideals which even now, won’t change anything
To pre-occupied with petty fears; single without a reason to wear a ring
Byproduct of a mind, body and spirit only twenty-two
Beholder of a secret acknowledged openly, by very few
Facts from a moment of truth; something all need to read once
A private prayer so pure, it feels all should have to also bleed 50

The young boy who sits there on his knees
Desperately looking to the sky; begging please
Asking his pain be replaced with a dream
A future without the sound of a scream
Finding a myth has fallen into this lap
Running to get home safe, before it gets dark.
Set to travel down a path that’s straight and narrow
Finding salvation a second before it’s too late
A second before there’re no more shots at redemption
Words so scary, they go without mention. 60

Posted in Emotions, LIFE

An Angel for Dark Knights

We’re all born to be who we are. Each of us; issued tools necessary to get any job done, each with our own motive to get the job done. Hard at work, weather the sun’s up or down; therapy, working through pain long, long forgotten. Looking at out for whoever wishes to embark; an invitation, a…

Welcome to a most sacred hall; a place only we’re allowed to go
Sharing images we had to swear, we’d never show.
Why even now, all you see is a tainted heavenly glow,
Expressing how each day blessed with life, is chance to further grow,
Utilizing lessons, that most will never grasp or know, 5
Facts of life forgotten by either, young or old,
Ideals misleading the masses to perceive this as something more than bold.
When reality is, these words just move with whichever way the wind blows.
Analyzing this, that everyday life discreetly shows,
What’s illustrated through the eyes of a soul filled with holes, 10
More preoccupied with understanding how to one day be made whole.
We, the one’s still striving to complete this list of viable goals,
Making a home in a place; no one dares to go,
Blasphemous thoughts that reflect a new low,
Providing self-warmth due to a heart that’s grown cold; 15
Probably due to being the one, no one apparently wants to hold,
Understanding someone has to play the unwanted role.
Surviving without shelter, stranded and alone at the cross road,
The fairytale prince, prisoner to his life as a toad.
Maybe who it is, God refuses to repay, but still owes, 20
Advising that no princess dare kiss this one’s nose.
Twenty-six plus years of knowledge preaching, it’s senseless to expect bliss,
Something that’d invite, only more of a risk,
The core essence of what’s revealed within an Angels kiss.
A lesson as influential as instructing man to fish, 25
Learning how our truest dreams reside in a lovers wish.
Testifying it’s a choice, when pain motivates us to cry.
Inspired by this newly placed mandate, to at least try,
Shopping for a form of happiness, we can’t just go out and buy.
Someone who feels her true place is by our side, 30
She who was created to ultimately, ride or die,
Emotions she never feels she has to hide,
The woman proudest calling herself; your bride.
Showing how nothing was left behind; when what we have, is so right,
Better than any recreational drug leaving a user high 35,
A soul reviving its mate a new, each and every night,
Bringing the dark to the light.
Illustrating, undeniably the best feeling in life.
Cutting as deep as the sharpest knife.
An Angel created for the darkest of knights! 40